What is it like having THE Annabelle Rama as my mother-in-law? Watch me ask her some nerve-racking questions about our relationship. 😰
Posted by Themommygutz on Saturday, May 12, 2018
There are a lot of ways to title this blog. But for most women I know, “dealing” with their mother-in-law is a real chore that requires a lot of energy and effort.
You might know that my mother-in-law is the one and only Annabelle Rama. You don’t need anyone to tell you how headstrong she can be—just check out any episode of our family’s reality show, or any interview she has given on TV. Some people ask me how is it possible for me to get along with Tita Annabelle knowing all of this.
It’s a weird stereotype that most married women don’t have good relationships with their mothers-in-law. I’m not sure how it came about, but it seemed strange to me that in a culture that values family so much, there would be a rift like this.
Luckily for me, I get along with my mother-in-law just fine. It surprises me to know that many people don’t, and so they ask me for tips on how they can have a better relationship with their in-laws. And just because it’s Mother’s Day, I thought I’d do a short video with her. Can you tell I’m a bit nervous? Haha!
The first time I met her, I found her so scary and intimidating! But Tita Annabelle is a strong woman who has really worked her way to get to where she is now. She earns her keep through management and producing in the showbiz industry, which really requires a sharp mind and good sense if you want to stay afloat. Tita Annabelle is a good, honest businesswoman, but if she mothers-in-law in any way, you will be subject to her sharp tongue and fierceness. This is one of the things she advises to women so that they have good relationships with their mothers-in-law: let everything be founded on respect.
Well, the first thing I have to tell you is that while she exudes her strong personality to others, there is a layer to her that most people will know if they only choose to look. It’s really when you truly care and respect someone, that you will make an effort to do so. So the first thing I did in trying to get along with her is to have a good ear and listen to her.
For Tita Annabelle, family matters. I mean, the Gutierrez family is one big clan! The second thing I did was to make an effort to get to know her and her family. This was very crucial because I was curious why everyone feared her and her reputation. But getting to know her through the eyes of her loved ones just showed me that the reason she is tough is because of her trade. I learned that one of her greatest regrets about her kids was being so hard on them when they were younger. I guess that’s why she’s such a loving lola who now spoils her grandkids so much!
I got to know Tita Annabelle more when I got to travel with her. After all, her strong personality must be coming from somewhere, right? Over time, I learned more about her parents, about how her mom left her at a young age, and how she was raised by nuns in an orphanage. Tita Annabelle had to be resilient and responsible to take care of her siblings since her dad worked on a boat and was away all the time.
Knowing my mother-in-law’s stories from her growing-up years opened my eyes and helped me have compassion for how she grew up. It also helped me understand her personality. Her fierce protectiveness of her family and making sure they want for nothing is just the desire for them to have the things she couldn’t come as a child.
Of course, traveling together also helped us have time to get to know one another in a more relaxed setting. Many will know Tita Annabelle as the Annabelle Rama. But for me, she is the grandmother of my children, the mother to my husband, the mother figure of a large, tight-knit family.
Getting along with your mother-in-law is not about comparing who is the better mother or who has the better parenting style. Remember, she has a whole lot of love to shower on your family and children. In fact, that’s what she said she likes about me: that she can also see that I care for my family a lot, and that I put in a lot of effort into being hands-on with my kids.
If you take time to level your patience and get to know her beyond what people think of her, you’ll make great strides in having a harmonious relationship with your mother-in-law. So if you’re “dealing” with this kind of problem right now, then I hope these tips on how to get along with your mother-in-law will help you in the long run!
And to all young moms who are probably reading this right now, Happy Mother’s Day! I hope that you are showered with love by your kids and your family and that you never doubt your place in their lives. 🙂